After all that has happened for the past few days,

im left feeling emotionally, mentally and physically very exhausted.

Received a call from home on Tuesday night,

and i practically rushed to the bus station hoping to catch the last ride back home that night itself.

The whole journey back home was uncomfortable, as i felt pretty uneasy deep inside then.

All that's running inside my mind at that point was,

im rushing home hoping to make it in time to at least, say my last goodbye.

Reached Jb around 2.30am.

Stayed up till 4am in the morning, as my parents tried explaining to the both of us

about my grandma's condition.

We left for Singapore General Hospital (SGH) the very next morning.

It was definitely a very heart wrenching sight when i first stepped into the Intensive Care Unit

and saw her sitting there, with the amount of tubes she was connected to.

The adults kept reminding us, not to tear in front of her.

All the discomforts and pain she was going through then did not even deter her will,
as she was still cracking jokes every now and then, smilling away.

And for that I thank God for answering all of our prayers, for keeping her strong enough.

I guess that everyone just wasn't ready to let her go yet.

The very last resort out was taken, as the very painful decision was finally made.

To take the risk of a 80-year-old lady going through a very painful neurosurgery.

My most prized moment got to be the night before grandma's surgery,

when sis and I stayed inside the ICU ward and accompanied her while she have her dinner.

My heart ached the most at that point

as i helped to button her top for the very first time,

to put a napkin on for her for my very first time,

and wondered what took me such a long time to learn that she loves salted vegetables.

I was extremely dissapointed in myself, and was trying very hard to hold back my tears.

I walked out of the ICU ward that night with so much regrets deep inside,

as the fear of losing her the very next day itself kept haunting me.

All im able to say is,

my grandmother has been truly blessed and God had been there right beside her throughout the whole time.

She escaped death, and God decides to lend her to us a little longer.

Throughout this whole five days,

i was at the point of losing my grandmother.

She went through a major surgery.

And lastly, she suffered a minor stroke.

She's still not off the critical stage yet and still resting in the ICU ward,

but i guess at this point now

all im left with is to leave her in the hands of God to give her enough strength to pull through this recovery period.

As for me,

im really trying to remain focused now.

Finals will be in just a week time.